Staring at the Sun
by Elizabeth Stafford
Summary: When Kara met Zak. From their fist meeting until Zak's funeral. Lee, Boomer, and others will be making guest appearances. Pre Miniseries.
1. A Hard Day's Night

Summery: When Kara met Zak. Pre Miniseries.

Disclaimer: _Battlestar Galactica_ and associated characters are copyright to Vivendi Universal, Sci-Fi Channel, and Sky One. This work is not for profit and is not intended to infringe upon said copyright.

Author's Note: Kara and Zak's first meeting is unabashedly appropriated from _Grey's Anatomy _(McPilot? Seriously). My description of flight school is based on the U.S. Naval Aviator training, as explained to me by a friend currently going through it. All mistakes are mine.

The general timeline that I'm using for Kara Thrace's military career is--completed officer candidate school at 20, completed flight training at 22, served two years on active duty, and has been an advanced flight training instructor at the Academy for a year, meaning she has taught one class previous to Zak's class.

Spoilers: _Miniseries_ and_ Act of Contrition_.

**K**ara Thrace ran her fingers through her short blond hair and sighed. As an instructor at the Colonial Fleet Advanced Flight Training Academy, she seemed to have an endless supply of paperwork. The new class was starting tomorrow, and Kara had to familiarize herself with all one hundred fifty pilot candidates. Just to be contrary, she had started at 'Z', and had reached the 'C's. She studied the two piles of folders on her desk, and made a face as she took a sip of ice cold coffee. _Frak._

She pinched the bridge of her nose and rubbed her eyes. Because of the calendar differences between the colonies, she had not realized what the date was until she had taken a communiqué from Fleet Headquarters on Picon. _ It's hard to believe that I'm twenty five today. _Kara jumped as someone rapped on the doorframe of her office. It was Skids, one of the ECO instructors.

"Hey Starbuck, still slogging through trainee files?" He smirked as Kara gave him a death glare. "How many do you have left, twenty?" Kara nodded. "Finish them in the morning. We're all going out to celebrate our last night of freedom from nuggets. Get changed and meet us in twenty minutes at the rail stop."

Kara sprinted back to her quarters. Though she still kept her flat cum studio in Delphi, she also had housing on base for convenience, only using the Delphi place for painting and occasionally privacy. _Twenty minutes? They really don't think of me as a girl. Well maybe I feel like being a girl tonight. _She tossed her uniform on the back of a chair, and pulled on a pair of fitted jeans and a blue sweater. Rummaging through a drawer, she found a narrow black headband, and pulled short golden strands back from her face. Shoving her feet into black heeled boots, she applied a coat of sheer lip gloss, grabbed her bag, and dashed out the door.

Arriving at the rail station, twenty-three minutes later, she endured some relatively good-natured ribbing until the tram arrived. The group of instructors took the rail into town, and headed towards The Hanger, a popular Fleet Bar. Two beers later, Kara realized the boisterous fraternal atmosphere was not what she needed tonight. She tapped Shooter on the shoulder. "I'm going to bail. I'll see you at intake tomorrow. Have a good time," she added with a brief nod towards the voluptuous and somewhat inebriated brunette hanging on to his arm.

Exiting the Hanger, she started to walk back towards the rail station when she collided with a tall, darkly handsome man. "Oh Lords! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Kara nodded. "Can I at least buy you a drink to apologize?" Kara was going to turn him down when she saw the hopeful earnest look in his—very nice—eyes. _Well, I wanted to feel like a girl. Now's my chance._ She smiled up at him. "I'd love to."

Ooooooooooo

Military habit and training allowed Kara to wake at dawn. She smiled as Zak's arms tightened around her. The drink had turned into three or four and they had wound up in a motel room. It had ended up being a very nice birthday after all. "Zak," she whispered trying to shrug out of his embrace. "Zak, I have to go." She stood up and started to pull on her clothes. "Stay," he muttered sleepily. "I can't. I have to go home and get ready for work." Zak sat up and yawned. "Yeah, I need to get up too. Can I interest you in a shower?" The last with a lecherous grin. Fully dressed, but with her golden hair still tangled, Kara leaned down and kissed him. "I had a wonderful time, but I really do have to leave." She grabbed a pen and pad from the nightstand and scrawled her number on it. "No pressure."

Ooooooooooo

Kara stood at parade rest between Major 'Ike' Phillips, her direct superior, and Shooter, a Lieutenant, j.g., who was her assistant instructor. Kara tried not to smile as Ike put the fear of the Lords into their trainees. She knew that in the adjacent classrooms the Raptor, ECO, Transports, and Capital Ship Head Instructors were giving almost the exact same speech. She looked at the back of the room, and saw the records plaque on the wall. When she had been a nugget, six of the eight records had been held by Lee 'Apollo' Adama, with the last two being held by his father William 'Husker' Adama. She had always wanted to meet the Adama men.

"Now let me introduce Lieutenant Kara Thrace, call sign Starbuck. Lt. Thrace will be directly responsible for your flight training. She is the holder of seven Academy records, has over 1,000 landings, and has more combat experience than any pilot currently on active flight status. You nuggets can consider her the next thing to the Lords of Kobol. Lieutenant Thrace?"

Kara always hated this part. She could lecture on the aerodynamic principles of combat aviation, but making a suitably awe inspiring speech was always problematical for her. "Alright nuggets. Now I'm sure that you're all thinking 'I completed Primary Flight Training, I was accepted to Advanced Flight Training in strike warfare, I'm pretty frakking hot!' And you would all be wrong. Boys and girls you are about to enter a whole new world, so listen up. You will be training to fly the Viper Mark VII. The Viper is unlike anything that you have ever flown before. The trainers that you have flown before do not compare. The Mark VII is the most sophisticated example of aviation in existence. It has fully integrated avionics and it can rotate 180 degrees vertically in .28 seconds. The Mark VII is a 40 million credit plane. It is worth more than you. You should feel privileged to in the same room as it. "

She looked out at the one hundred fifty pilot candidates and one face jumped out at her. She inhaled sharply. _Oh Lords, please tell me that is not who I think it is. Please tell me I did not sleep with a student. _Major Phillips gave her a sharp glance and Shooter unobtrusively touched her elbow. _Right, the speech._ "Today, you will be introduced to the simulators. We will be evaluating your abilities. If you cannot handle it in the simulator, you will not be allowed to try in a real Viper." She stepped back. "Attention on deck! Nuggets, you will report to the simulator bay at 0900. Dismissed!" At Shooter's final command, the trainees filed neatly out of the briefing room. "You okay?" _No, I am not okay! I slept with a student! I'm being punished for not reviewing all the trainee files. _"I'm fine. Let's go prep the sims."


	2. Absolute Gravity

Author's Note: I realize that Kara may seem a little bit out of character; however, I'm portraying her in a situation where she enjoys her work and respects her superior officers and co-workers. I also think that her behavior probably did not become so extreme until after Zak's death and under Adama's permissiveness.

You'll notice that while others will refer to her as Starbuck, I never have her use it to refer to herself and in narrative she is 'Kara'. My reading of the character is that she did not immerse herself in the 'Starbuck persona' until after Zak's death. Notwithstanding, Kara did come from a highly abusive background and still has serious emotional issues that affect her relationships.

Also, as I never use typical Starbuck language, it's difficult for me to remember to insert expletives. 'Fraks' will be randomly distributed throughout the story when I remember to put them in. Therefore her language might sound slightly "prissier" than normal. I apologize, and I will endeavor to have Starbuck sound less "prissy" in the future.

**K**ara nodded to another instructor and entered her quarters. As soon as the door closed, she collapsed on her couch. Zak had tried to talk to her after sims, but she had told him to come by her office tomorrow. She needed time to figure out what to do. But 20k later, she still did not have any answers and her bad knee was in throbbing. She hobbled to the shower, tossing her running clothes in the hamper. Turning on the hot water, she let the water pound on tight muscles.

She carefully sank down on the couch and propped her leg up on the coffee table. She placed a bag of ice on her knee and picked up her last twenty files. _Why didn't I read these yesterday? How could I be so frakking stupid. _ Zak's was the last file. Adama, Zak. _Adama? I wonder if there's any relation to Apollo and Husker. It would be nice to teach a truly gifted pilot._ Six pilots from her last class had been accepted to the prestigious Fleet Replacement Squadron on the _Atlantia_. They had all been excellent pilots, but none of them had the innate ability to be extraordinary.

She opened Zak's file. His scores in engineering and aerodynamics were exceptional. He had performed very well in all the PreFlight classes, particularly in air navigation, flight rules and regulations, and aviation physiology. His Primary Flight scores were unexceptional, but satisfactory. However, his scores had dropped dramatically once he had begun flying in the single seat trainers. _This doesn't make any sense. With these flight scores he should be in ECO training. Hell, they should have him designing these things, not flying them. _She checked the statistics from the day's simulator exercises. Zak's performance was—well, dismal was probably too harsh. _Whatever is going on, I'll deal with it in the morning. _

Ooooooooooo

Kara knocked the requisite three times on Major Phillips' door. At his muffled response, she entered his office and stood at attention three paces from his desk. "Sit, Starbuck. What can I do for you this morning?" Kara licked her lips. "Sir, I wanted to discuss one of the trainees." She laid Zak's file on his desk. "You have a problem with a nugget, already?" he asked in disbelief. "Well, not a problem per se, but I was wondering why Ensign Adama is in this platform. His records seem to indicate he would be better qualified as ECO. Frankly, sir, I'm concerned for his safety and the safety of the other students."

Phillips gave her an appraising look. "Starbuck, remember when you were a nugget? You had something to prove. You were the only female Viper pilot your year, so you had to prove yourself to everyone else—which you did rather nicely by the way, knocking Zak's father and brother off the record board—but you were also trying to prove to yourself that you could excel in something other than pyramid. Kara, you're the most naturally gifted pilot I've ever taught, but your need to prove yourself pushes you beyond anyone I've ever seen." Kara tried not to appear to self-satisfied, but the corners of her mouth turned upwards in the beginnings of a smug grin.

"Zak's father was a hero of the Cylon War; his older brother is a squadron leader on the _Atlantia_. Zak is under enormous pressure—if he succeeds, it's merely what is expected, but if he fails…You're an excellent instructor. I want you to give Zak whatever help he needs to succeed. I know you can do it." _Great,_ _now I'm supposed to give the student that I had a one night stand with private tutoring. And he's really laying on the flattery. This isn't a request by a superior to be considered an order. This is a direct order that come hell or high water, I will turn Zak Adama into a Viper pilot. Frak. _"Of course, sir. I'll set up a meeting with him to discuss it." _ I am so incredibly frakked._ "Very well. Carry on, Lieutenant." She stood up to leave. "Starbuck? You'll be at the triad game at the Officers' Club tonight, won't you?" She smiled. "And miss the chance to take all of your credits, sir? How could I miss that?"

Ooooooooooo

Kara looked up from her seemingly endless paperwork as three precise raps sounded on her door. _Frak. Its time for Zak's appointment. I can't deal with this. The first man I meet in a long time that I actually could have feelings for, turns out to be my remedial Fleet-brat student. The Lords definitely have a twisted sense of humor. _She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Enter." She made him stand at attention while she gave him an appraising look. "Ensign Adama. I would appreciate it if the incident from the other night was kept between the two of us."

"The 'incident'? Lords, Kara, is that what you're going to call it?" Kara dropped Zak's file on the desk with some force. "Ensign Adama. I am your superior officer. In this room you will address me as Lieutenant Thrace. And it shall remain 'the incident' if you want to preserve both of our careers. Because if Fleet Command finds out about this, I will probably lose my commission. Therefore, you will lose the skills of the best instructor at the Academy and become famous as the Adama who screwed his flight instructor and still washed out. Understand?" She felt guilty at the kicked puppy dog look in his eyes. _It's best for both of us. Clean break, right now. Professional relationship. Frak it, stop looking at me with those gorgeous eyes, like I'm the sacred idol on the dais. _

Kara ignored the uncomfortable feelings that did not really bear closer examination, and ploughed on. "Right now, I'm you're only hope of becoming a Viper pilot. You will report to the simulator bay after dinner for remedial lessons. Dismissed." Zak looked recalcitrant, but a military upbringing made him think better of saying anything. He saluted and with military precision exited her office.


	3. Impasto

Author's Note: I apologize for the long delay. Unfortunately, real life deadlines intruded. This chapter is much shorter than originally intended, so I will try to get the next chapter up this week. It is also unbetaed, so please forgive any errors.

I decided to have a bit of fun describing Delphi. Its geography is based (loosely) on the episode _Valley of Darkness_ and the actual geography of Delphi on Earth.

The description of paint preparation is adapted from Professor John's _Art of the High Renaissance_ lectures. Many thanks for a wonderful class.

Spoilers: Minor _Valley of Darkness_

**K**ara waited for Zak in the simulator bay, making minor adjustments to the sim package to give herself something to do. _Lords, what am I going to do? _She heard the familiar sound of regulation boots before she saw him. Zak emerged through the hatchway, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. Three paces from her he halted and saluted, the epitome of perfect military precision. "Lieutenant Thrace. Ensign Adama reporting for additional training. Sir." He could not quite keep the smirk off his face. She gave him an icy glare. "On the flight deck you may address me as Starbuck."

Ooooooooooo

Kara dismissed her student, trying not to let her frustration show. The sim session had actually been moderately productive, and surprisingly Kara was endlessly patient with her students. Kara had started Zak at the point where his scores had begun to fall, and made him repeat each exercise until he had executed it with enough skill to have initially passed on his own merits.

In four hours, she had led him through two simulator runs which she could have completed in less than one. It was a start, but he was still a long way off from being capable of flying a Viper. However, her frustration did not stem from Zak's mediocre performance, but rather from her inability to ignore the feelings that he evoked. _It was a one night stand. I cannot be in love with a man I just met. Especially not my student. _

Kara scrubbed her hands over her face. _Lords, this is a disaster. _She shut down the simulator and exited the sim bay, securing the door behind her. As she crossed the green, a cool breeze ruffled her hair and raised gooseflesh on the back of her neck. She returned a salute to a harried looking Specialist, and suddenly deviated from the path to her quarters and headed towards the rail station.

Ooooooooooo

Normally, Kara finished each day with a distance run. As her legs pumped, her feet pounded, and the wind slapped against her face, Kara felt free, like nothing could touch her, the same feeling she got from flying. Of course, the endorphins that flowed through her system were an added benefit, allowing her to forget all problems. It was the reason she had initially turned to sports, to escape her troubled home life.

However, tonight she needed another release. Catching the blue line, Kara left the base and headed towards the city outskirts. The train sped through downtown Delphi, past the Forum, the Opera House, and the Telamont Building, then across the river, giving Kara a panoramic view of the Shining Mountains and Port Kirrah. At the Castalian Springs stop, Kara got off the train and walked the twelve blocks to her apartment.

As she climbed the six flights of stairs to her studio, she wondered for the hundredth time why she kept the place. _Nothing ever works the way it's supposed to, the view is horrid, and the rent is sky high._ Unlocking the door, she entered the apartment, and flipped on the lights. Or rather, she tried to. _Frak! I forgot to pay the utilities again. _She rummaged around a closet, which could better be described as the Hellmouth, until she found a flashlight and some candles. Setting them up around the room, Kara began to mix the pigments and the binder on an irregular piece of glass. As the pression of her palette knife dispersed the aggregates, Kara turned on her battered music player and the haunting melodies of her father's orchestral suite filled the room.

In the flickering candlelight, Kara spread wide swaths of vermillion across her canvas, adding dancing swirls of orpiment with her palette knife. To the unconventional metre and overt dissonance of her father's composition, the painting emerged. The harsh vibrant flames contrasted with the soft billowing grays and indigos. Meandering swirls of silver danced across the clouds like a rippling arpeggio.

Kara stared at the canvas, the thick impasto causing the light to reflect ethereally, adding expressiveness, as the strength and speed of the brushwork became manifest. Though the paint was still wet, Kara reached out and delicately touched an almost sculptural whorl of flame. It was a powerful piece, perhaps one of the most compelling she had ever painted. _Exodus from Kobol._ The image from the scriptures flashed into her mind. It seemed to fit her current frame of mind. Kara glanced at the clock. If she left now, she would have just enough time to return to campus, shower, and grab something to eat before her first class.


End file.
